Did I Marry the Right Person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked Their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression " the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe ( such as gravity),

There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. You can " make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'I would have been released today.'

The Ride of your life - George Carlin - worth reading every day -a keeperEnjoy the ride;

George Carlin's Views on Aging Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Something You May Not Know

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters onlyon one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath..

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to

Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

16. If a statue of a warrior on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Honey - This is the onlyfood that doesn't spoil.

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed.

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet.

24. Elephants are the onlyanimals that can't jump.

25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with onlythe left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

Dedicated to the first one who taught me a wisdom my Parents, and to all my students.

· When God closes a door, He opens another one.

· To light a candle, is better than damning the darkness

· The most beautiful word is the truth.

· Respect is the key for communication.

· A bell’s not a bell till you ring it, a song’s not a song till you sing it. Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay, a love’s not a love till you give it away!

· God enters by a private door into every individual.

· Worry is an abuse of God’s gift of imagination.

· If you want happiness… For an hour, take a nap… For a day, go fishing…. For a month, get married…. For a year, inherit a fortune…. For a life time, help someone else

· If you have one true friend, you have more than your share.

· Four things to learn in life

1. To think clearly without burry or confusion.

2. To love everybody sincerely when you talk about love.

3. To act in everything with the biggest motives.

4. To trust God unbesitatingly.

· The greatest weakness of most humans is their besitancy to tell others how much they love hem while they’re still alive.

· Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

· When faced with a decision, decide. When faced with a choice, choose. Sitting on the fence will leave you too tense because you neither win nor lose!



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· Once upon a time, a man living in village won horse. The people of the village said: "how lucky is this man?!!!!". On the second week, the man fell down from the back of his horse a he broke his leg. The people of the village said: " how unlucky he is!!!" On the third week, the war has stared and all the men of village had to join the army except him because he got a broken leg. The people of the village said again: "He is a very lucky man"....and so on ....

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· Once upon a time, a bird was migrating for the winter. She flew for a long time and it got very cold. It got too cold that it fell. She was on the floor freezing and all of a sudden a cow comes and takes a crap on her. She gets warm from the crap and she can move a little now. Then a cat came and cleaned up the bird. After she was all cleaned up the cat ate the bird. The morale of the story is just because something looks nice isn’t always a good thing, it could be a bad one. And bad things can help you sometimes. God says here: “ don’t wish something too badly, it could be a bad one and also don’t hate something too much, it could be useful for you. Just trust in me and I will always take care of you”.

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*N.B. Please take note that the above wisdoms are taken from different resources like “The Chicken soup series”, the Holly BOOK (Qura’an)……etc. Some are from personal experience in life. Some are fairy tales.

LIFE

life is a duty,complete it.
life is a game,play it.
life is a promise,fulfill it.
life is a sorrow,overcome it.
life is a struggle,accept it.
life is a tradegy,confront it.
life is an adventure,dare it.
life is luck,make it.
life is to precious,do not destroy it.
life is life,fight for it....